I was dreaming about this moment for what seems like weeks now and things went full steam ahead on Friday when I checked out a McRib locater via the web. Lucky for me I found a Mickey D’s close to home (although I would have travelled some distance) that had the MCRIB!!
Thinking back to my childhood I had trouble remembering why I only had one in my entire life…. The original was released in 1981 and the final McRib rolled off belt at the “meat” pressing plant in 1985 so that gave me plenty of time to indulge. Did I not like the rib or was it that I just loved the #2 with orange drink so much? Do they still make that drink??
Things started to click in my head, I’m just caught up in the McRib frenzy and not even sure if I liked it. One thing I do know for sure is that in the hours leading up to my first bite everyone I asked to come either said, “No way!” or “Yes!” and then backed out completely. As I got closer to go time, my stomach (which is normally like steel) started to turn at the thought of pork parts being shoved into a press that was shaped like a rib, no rib I ever seen, more like a play dough rib or the rib that crushes Fred Flintstones car.
Upon my arrival at Mc Donald’s everything went wrong. Everyone in the place was waiting in line for their orders and I was doing the same. I ordered extra food incase the McRib fell short and twenty minutes (which is not fast food in my opinion) later my Rib came out from the back room. By this time I was ready to vomit at the thought of what was going on behind the scenes.
But all bad thoughts aside I was excited as a kid on Christmas when I finally saw that box. However thoughts of sugar plumbs dancing in my head came to an end as I opened the box. It was a complete and total disaster, crap everywhere, sauce all over, onions (same ones used on the quarter pounder) piled in one spot and two pickles on top of each other, where was the love? Believe me when I say the contents of that box was not part of Ray Kroc’s dream, had the McDonald brothers made the McRib as a precursor to the burger, there would have been no success story, no billion people served and certainly no Kroc to make everyone rich.
First bite consisted of, “meat” (and I use that word loosely), tangy sauce and a capable fast food bun. The overall texture was on the side of a rubber band. I figured in order to be fair I had to get to a bite that had all the flavors, and when I did it tasted like a quarter pounder with a “pork” ( I also use that word loosely) patty on it.
. That was also the bite that caused the McRib to be locked back into the vessel in which it came, never to see light of day again.
At this moment I thanked God for the good old number 2 (2 cheeseburgers and FF)! I could care less if this fossil ever shows up again.
I know I love hot dogs and what may or may not be in them but let’s face it, at least it is not trying to be anything else. A hot dog is forced into a casing that even has a shape that is made fun of all the time.
I think people would have trouble eating a hot dog if it were shaped like Ribs.
Long story short this “rib” was not for me. I’m grossed out even thinking that “sandwich” made it to my mouth. I hope if you loved the rib back then you will love it today but now I remember
why I only had one when I was a young lad. I’m curious to see what others think. The “rib” will be out in most stores come Nov. 2nd for a limited time...
